I keep reading about the stress that occurs as a result of Valentine’s Day and I can’t help but wonder why. Why do so many people place so much value on this day? Do we think that if our partner has been irresponsible, mean-spirited, and selfish throughout our relationship, a nice, thoughtful, present erases that history? In contrast, if our partner has been kind, loving, and relational throughout our relationship, does that get thrown out the window if s/he only buys us a card?
I’m a firm believer in moderation. I don’t believe Valentine’s Day requires a magnificent gift and nor do I believe it’s in our best interest to do nothing. Valentine’s Day can be a wonderful reminder to do what we should be doing all year—act as though we truly care about our partner. It’s a reminder to not take our loved one for granted. It doesn’t take an earth-shattering feat to accomplish this. It does however take something…
It takes a moment to pause, slow down, and show, in both our actions and our words, that we feel blessed to have our partner in our lives. We can do this with a card, a flower, a teddy bear, a poem, a dinner, a tender moment, etc. The most important thing is that we do something–with a tender heart.
The reason doing something is so important is because so many other days out of the year, life caught up to us and we forgot to take the time to show our love. All those days went by and we allowed ourselves to take our loved ones for granted.
Valentine’s Day is the day we stop and take notice. No major “splash,” just a genuine act of tenderness.
So, if you’re a person who is pressuring your loved one to “go big” and try to make an amazing statement to you and the world on Valentine’s Day, I encourage you to look at your motives. What does a big gift say to you? Or is it what it says to those around you?
Let go of splash and replace it with authentic relationships. If your partner hasn’t been thoughtful all year, remember that no amount of splash is going to fix that.
For those of you whose partner has been a wonderful addition to your life, take the time to share that with your partner. Let go of the “right” Valentine’s gift and appreciate what you get all year round–that’s the biggest gift anyone could receive.
Remember, healthy relationships require attention. Valentine’s Day is our reminder to do just that–pause, slow down, and show, in both our actions and our words, that we feel blessed to have our partner in our lives.
Challenge: View Valentine’s Day as a reminder to pay attention to your relationship. Ignore the hype, yet keep the message. Take the time today, and all the year through, to let your partner know you’re happy to have him/her in your life.