For those of you who are serious about personal and relational growth I have found a great book. The author is Debbie Ford and the title is “The Dark Side of the Light Chasers.” Her writing is clear, concise, and enlightening.
The book looks at our “shadow”, the concept of projection and letting your light shine. It is about bringing to light the part of us that keeps us stuck: our “shadow”. Our “shadow,” she explains, is comprised of all the parts of us that we hate, are embarrassed by, ashamed of, or in denial about. Jung first used the term “shadow” and believed that the shadow “is the person you would rather not be.”
The problem with our shadow is that if we don’t embrace it and own it, it will take a lead role in our lives. Debbie had a great quote in the book to stress this point: “What you resist, persists.” The more we are in denial about those parts of ourselves that are unattractive, non-relational and sometimes downright ugly, the more these parts will run us. Our partners will be aware of them, as will our family and friends, but we will go to our death bed denying them. This denial gives them more power. As long as we choose to stick our head in the sand regarding our shadows, they will continue to run and ultimately ruin our lives.
I could go on forever about this book, however Debbie is the author so I will let her share her insights with you. I strongly recommend this book. I often talk about our “edges” and try to normalize that we all have them. This book goes hand in hand with this thinking I believe. The more we can look at our dark side, imperfections, less than attractive traits or whatever other term you want to use, the healthier we can become. The healthier we become, the healthier our relationships become. So take a look at this book, begin to work on your shadow, and watch what happens.
Challenge: Purchase the book “The Dark Side of the Light Chasers” and begin a journey of personal growth that will minimally be enlightening and perhaps even change your relationships and your life. Work the exercises and be open to all aspects of yourself.