It’s hard to imagine anyone who isn’t impacted by our economy today on some level. People are getting laid off left and right, stocks are all over the place, retirements are dropping, credit cards are hiking their rates to egregious and ridiculous percentages, foreclosures are skyrocketing and on and on.
Given all the turmoil, what can you do to try to stay calm and not get caught up in the drama and stress of it all? Here are five tips couples can do to support one another and not emotionally get caught up in the storm:
- Discuss your concerns with your partner calmly and early on: Talk about your fears, stress etc., early on rather than waiting until you’re overwhelmed and freaking out. If you and your partner approach this as a team from the start, it will be more manageable and neither one of you will have to carry the weight alone.
- Do not allow catastrophic thinking to take over (on your part or your partner’s): Keep things in perspective and do not make things out to be worse than they are. At times we can get ourselves into a heck of a spin when we are nervous about something; this will not help. If either you or your partner keeps going to the worst case scenario…stop it. Look at what is ACTUAL, not possible. If things are bad then stay focused on the present and what you can do now. If there’s nothing that can be done now, then let it go and wait things out. If there are things you can do now, figure out what those are and get to it.
- Don’t minimize: It’s not uncommon for one partner to withhold information under the guise of “protecting” their partner. This is not protection and it’s also not okay. Don’t pretend everything is okay if it’s not. It’s not fair to your partner to not be aware of the reality of things and it certainly won’t help if things do get to a serious point where big decisions need to be made.
Marriage is about partnership not parenting. You’re not your partner’s parent and s/he is not your child to be taken care of. You are both partners and in this together so stop minimizing and start being honest about what’s really going on…the good, the bad, and the ugly.
- Do not make any rash decisions out of fear; get the facts. Be thoughtful in your response NOT reactive: When people allow themselves to get caught up in the fear and hysteria of others, it can lead to catastrophic events (i.e.: stampedes). Don’t make that same mistake. Make sure you gather all the information you need from very reliable, stable sources and make an informed decision with your partner’s input and help.
- Ask for support if and when you need it. Allowing your partner to support you rather than keeping your stress to yourself, builds intimacy. Intimacy means “into me you see”. Sharing yourself strengthens your relationship and your personal well-being. Carrying the entire weight on your shoulders is not good for you, your partner, or your children. Stop carrying the load and start sharing it; it will be less weight for everyone.
CHALLENGE: Don’t allow the media, friends, co-workers, random talk etc. to shake you. Look at your own situation, discuss things with your partner, get sound advice, and don’t react. Instead, make smart decisions from a centered place and don’t catastrophize or minimize. If listening to the media results in an increase in anxiety, step away from the news and give your self a break.