1. Give your partner a hug every day. Give a hug hello, good-bye or good-night or anytime in
between. Make it longer than five seconds.
2. Talk to your partner un-interrupted everyday after work or after the children are in bed. This
doesn’t have to be a long, deep conversation.—just a chance to update and check–in. You
can’t be connected if you don’t’ know what’s going on in each other’s life.
3. Block off some couples time every week. If you can manage a date, great. If not, then after
the children are in bed, shut the t.v. off, talk, play a game, joke around…connect. Twice a
month schedule a date night and get out together.
4. Before falling asleep, snuggle—for connection, not for sex. If every time a couple snuggles
one partner comments about or tries to initiate sex, often the other partner will just stop
snuggling.
5. Set limits around work. Create a work free time zone that both partners honor. During that
time no one is working (i.e. no work after 8:00pm).
6. Practice tender sprinkles every week. A tender sprinkle can be as simple as giving your
partner a compliment or as elaborate as planning and following through with a weekend
getaway.
7. Be playful. Bring back the flirting that attracted you both to each other in the first place.
Tease, joke, laugh, have fun.
8. Keep the criticism to a minimum and the compliments to a maximum.
9. Ask for what you want rather than complaining about what you’re not getting.
10. Every month check out with your partner how your relationship is going. If life has caught up
to you and you’re feeling distant then make plans to connect.
Remember that relationships take work. Keep your finger on the pulse or one day you’ll wake up and realize there is none.
Challenge: Begin to incorporate some of these touchstones into your relationship and see what happens. Choose two this week and follow through with them.