“It is a privilege to be in your inner circle, and only those who treat you well get to enter that circle and remain in that circle.” ~Lisa Merlo-Booth
No one should be allowed into your inner circle without treating you with genuine warm regard; Period. Your inner circle is reserved for those who are kind, supportive and leave you feeling great about who you are. The only people in your inner circle should be those you trust, those who treat you well, and those who feel good to be around. The gatekeeper of your inner circle is you. Don’t ever leave that gate wide open for anyone to enter. Love yourself enough to be sure the right people get through that gate.
Far too many people surround themselves with people who are not genuinely kind to them. Your inner circle is your sanctuary; it is where you go to celebrate the best of times or to have support during the worst of times. Genuine warm regard is the foundation of every relationship with those in your inner circle. If someone starts in your inner circle and later no longer treats you well, they lose their spot—these are not lifetime positions. This same rule applies to you: you no longer belong in their inner circle if you stop treating someone with genuine warm regard.
Spouses and family members may or may not be in your inner circle. If they don’t treat you well more, far more days than not, they don’t belong in your inner circle. Dare to see what you see rather than trying to paint a rosier picture than reality. Protect yourself, and don’t pretend the relationship is closer than it is. Get help if it’s warranted, set limits when appropriate, and walk away when necessary. Don’t ever, though, give anyone the keys to your heart who doesn’t treat you with genuine warm regard.
Challenge: Take a hard look at those in your inner circle and assess who is trustworthy, treats you well, feels good to be around, and leaves you feeling good about yourself. Opening your eyes is the first step to being a powerful gatekeeper to your inner circle sanctuary.