Many couples have to deal
with the reality of one or both partners traveling for work. Frequent travel can be stressful on the
couple as well as the entire family unit if there are children involved. Below are a few tips to help couples minimize
the stress of this typically stressful dynamic:
Tips for the traveling
partner:
- When you are home—be present: it’s one thing to
have to travel a lot, it’s an entirely different thing to travel a lot and
then come home and be constantly working.
When you are home, be sure to incorporate a technology-free zone
into your nighttime rituals with your spouse and children. I struggled with this for a long time
until I realized my children were beginning to pull away from me. It took me quite a while to get them to
warm up to me again—by being present emotionally and physically. - Before you go on your trip, give extra attention
to your family. The weekend before,
spend a day having fun, playing a game or going out on a date. Don’t allow the trip to just sneak up on
you—plan ahead. - If you travel weekly, incorporate a ritual into
the travel so your children and partner have something to look forward
to. I typically leave each person a
tender sprinkle on their pillow before I go (a personal note with a loving
message) and pick up a little something for when I return.
speak when one of them is away. You
need to stay connected—call and check in.
If you have children, call to say good night. If you can’t call, send them a text or
e-mail (your partner can read it to them if they’re too young to read it
themselves). You are never too busy
to check in, so don’t use that as an excuse.
care of everything and everyone while you were gone. Do not take them for granted. It’s a lot of work taking care of the
household and children—appreciate it.
Know that your traveling impacts those around you (with or without
kids).
Tips for the non-traveling
partner:
- If you want something from your partner—ask
them. Don’t complain every time
they go and moan about them having been gone when they return. If you would like them to reduce their
travel, ask them. You need to
realize what you are willing and not willing to accept around this
issue. Once you decide to accept a
certain degree of travel, accept it with a good spirit. - Welcome your partner home. There’s nothing worse than being gone
for several days, walking into your home and no one even says hello. Stop what you’re doing and greet your
partner with a hug and kiss. If
this feels crazy, chances are you and your partner are already
distant. Pay attention to this
distance so you can get back on track. - Whenever possible, be willing to travel with
your partner and enjoy a great trip.
Traveling can be hard on
couples if they don’t pay attention to the little touches. Don’t get into bad habits. It’s best to start with ground rules from the
beginning so everyone knows what to expect.
If one partner begins to feel resentful about the traveling, both need
to sit down together and discuss it.
Both partners need to be willing to periodically evaluate how the travel
is going and what, if any, changes need to be made. If you both tackle the traveling issue as a
team there will be less resentment and less stress. Remember you’re both on the same team. Put your heads together and determine what
steps you need to put into play for your family. Continue to reassess and readjust as
necessary.
CHALLENGE: If your family is impacted by travel, look
over the tips above and choose which ones you need to implement. Begin to implement them and see what happens. Good luck and let us know how it works!