At times I’m taken aback by how many people — men and women alike — believe that it’s okay to speak harshly or yell at others in anger. I’ve even had clients call me “one of those frickin’ feminists” when I stated it wasn’t okay to swear at their wives. Sadly, they are not alone in this belief.
Many men and women believe that yelling, swearing and/or speaking severely to their child, co-worker, lover or spouse is a part of relationships. They believe that harsh speaking is warranted at times and often understandable.
While they justify their callousness, the people caught in their cross-fire cringe.
The bottom line is: the only time speaking harshly is warranted, is for safety (such as stopping a child from running into the street) or protection from physical abuse. Otherwise, it is not okay to yell, swear, belittle or speak unkindly to others. Period.
You can be angry, speak with a firm, but not raised voice, tell a person you are angry, set a limit and/or make a request. You are OFF if you yell or are disrespectful in any way. This is true regardless of what the other person has done or is doing. Their behavior does not give you the green light to be harsh or verbally abusive (such as yelling, swearing at, name calling or belittling someone). Stop looking for times when it’s okay to speak harshly and instead be determined to give — and take — nothing less than respect.
CHALLENGE: If you continue to snap at others, yell in anger or justify your harshness because of the behaviors of others—STOP IT. There is no justification. Commit to taking disrespect and verbal abuse off the table in your relationships and notice what happens as a result.