This year, perhaps more than ever before, families are under an enormous amount of stress. If it’s not the normal holiday stresses, it’s the heavy weight of a downward spiraling economy, loss jobs, outrageous credit card interest rates or you name it. With all this stress it’s no wonder there’s a lot of arguing happening on the home front.
AND…it’s more important than ever to keep oneself in check. Making an already stressful situation even more stressful is not helpful to you, your partner, or your family. It’s also unnecessary.
Below are several tips to help you get through the holiday season with more joy and less fireworks for all.
- Commit to yourself and your partner that you will do everything in your power to take all yelling, screaming, name calling, and disrespect off the table; Period. Allow this to be one of your holiday gifts to your family.
- Do not become wonder woman or super man and try to do all the gift shopping, cooking, party planning etc. Remember if you take over, your partner will give it over. If your partner refuses to share in the help (which is incredibly non-relational-but can be dealt with at a different time) then do what you can reasonably do without feeling resentful. Let go of the rest and don’t beat yourself up for not being able to be everything for everyone…that’s codependence not health anyway.
- If you’re struggling financially, do creative gift giving rather than spending what you don’t have. Give your extended family (and children) the heads up so they know and ask them not to go too big this year. If they go big anyway, don’t feel bad; that was their choice and it has nothing to do with you. Some creative gifts include: giving a friend a night of free babysitting, your partner a night to him/herself, one on one time with your child, cooking someone their favorite meal, a day of games etc.
- Create a one day negative free zone for your family. On the holiday itself be determined to not say anything negative come hell or high water!!! You cannot control what someone else does but you most certainly can control what you do. Make sure you control what comes out of your mouth and walk away if you feel you will be unable to maintain calm. This is one day a year—no excuses.
- Pay attention to the positives and be determined to take those precious moments in. Notice your child laughing, your parent smiling, the taste of good food, the luxury of having electricity, the ability to share this time with others. Stay focused in the present and view each positive moment as a luxury that many other people don’t have. Take it in and be thankful.
Wishing everyone a joyous, conflict-free, peaceful and loving holiday!
Warm regards,
Lisa