“The simple truth is that happy people generally don’t get sick.”
(Bernie Siegel, M.D.)
“…and happy couples generally don’t get divorced”
(Lisa Merlo-Booth, M.A.)
Life is so stressful, busy, and pressured sometimes that we just forget to laugh. We get so caught up in doing work, driving the kids here, traveling there, answering e-mails, making meetings, handling the finances, scheduling appointments etc., that we forget to LIGHTEN UP!
One of the best indicators of a good relationship, or a potentially good relationship, is humor. Humor is a core strength in couples that helps the rough times not feel so bad and the good times feel great. There’s nothing like a little playfulness and genuinely, innocent humor to help round out your day…and protect your emotional, physical, and relational, health.
Bringing a little humor into your relationship may be just the thing you need to add some spark. Here are five quick tips to bring in some fun:
- Lovingly tease one another…i.e. if you’re partner tends to be high maintenance around ordering food tease her with love…”Uh I’d like an avocado sandwich with no avocado, a tad bit of mustard on the side, and rye toast without those little black things in it…would you mind sweetie?”. If you’re the partner being teased—if it was done with love—laugh.
- Be playful…i.e. Tell your partner he’s looking “mighty hot” in those Levi’s; say, “Hey baby where you been all my life?” Talk in a funny accent, laugh at yourself. Do some playful jarring, a little love tap on the arm, followed by one to the chin, and then start to bob and weave…just be playful.
- Tell jokes, funny stories, and a good one-liner. Don’t be so serious, relax, and have a laugh. Pull your shorts up to your arm pits, make a funny face, and ask your partner if you could have a hug.
- Be playful around mistakes: If your partner is a little short with you, instead of berating him, say in a light hearted way, “Where’s the love baby? I’m not feelin’ the love.” When you trip in front of a room full of people–laugh; I’m sure it looked really funny. If your partner falls in front of a room full of people—make sure s/he is okay…and only laugh if s/he does first.
- Watch funny movies, shows, plays etc., together. America’s Funniest Home Videos seldom fails to crack my family up and through the laughter, I always feel closer to them. “The Last Comic Standing” had my husband and me laughing so hard one show that we were in tears; to this day we still tell our kids the joke about the skater and boxer being interviewed by the reporter after falling on the ice and being punched in the nose. It has provided many moments of laughter and fun times.
If your relationship could use a little jump start, look for the humor in things. Healthy humor brings people closer, is playful, increases intimacy, reduces stress, and increases positive emotions. It is not biting, judgmental, contemptuous, or toxic in any way.
Playfulness and humor is a healthy, fun way to bring your relationship to the next level. If there’s too much seriousness going on at home…LIGHTEN UP. Make it a point to add some humor to the home front and see what you notice.
Do you and your partner use humor? If so, what do you think???
CHALLENGE: LIGHTEN UP…and take concrete steps to bring humor into your relationship…either via reading, watching videos, or actively being playful. Tell me what you notice.
If you want to read up on the effects of laughter:
http://holisticonline.com/Humor_Therapy/humor_mcghee_article.htm
http://www.helpguide.org/life/humor_laughter_health.htm
If you want a chuckle and to LIGHTEN UP!!!:-)