I am struck by the things people say and do, “in the name of God.” In a May 13 sermon to his congregation, Pastor Charles L. Worley, of Providence Road Baptist Church in Maiden, N.C., said, “I figured a way to get rid of all the lesbians and queers. Build a great big, large fence – 50 or a 100 miles long – and put all the lesbians in there. Fly over and drop some food. Do the same thing with the queers and the homosexuals, and have that fence electrified so they can’t get out. Feed them. And you know in a few years, they’ll die out. You know why? They can’t reproduce.” http://tinyurl.com/cp6q683
The irony of a pastor preaching to his congregation about the “sin” of homosexuality by advocating imprisoning homosexuals within an electrified fence until they die is so outrageous it’s almost comical. It’s not comical though; it’s toxic and dangerous. Similarly, the irony of people vehemently fighting to stop abortions because it’s “murder” only to condone killing the doctors who are providing abortions is also so absurd as to almost be comical…except it’s not—it’s also dangerous.
I see this type of extreme communication throughout my work with both couples and individuals. In an effort to be heard, far too many people go to the extremes. Countless people and organizations think that if they believe strongly enough about something, they have the right to get that point across in any manner necessary — even if it means encouraging hate and murder. Too many people also believe that the poor behavior of someone else is a green light for their own poor behavior. Both these ideas are dangerous. The strength of one’s convictions does not give anyone the right to boldly blast others, condemn others or harm others. A pastor, of all people, should know this, preach this and live this.
When you have a leader standing in front of his/her followers telling them to have contempt for another group of people or to put fellow human beings in danger, it’s irresponsible and dangerous. As human beings, we all have the right to our beliefs. We even have the right to share those beliefs with others. What we don’t have the right to do is to self-righteously condemn another person or group, threaten them or justify others doing the same.
The strength of one’s convictions does not justify or excuse the vehemence of one’s actions. A leadership position also does not bestow the right to incite one’s following to illegal actions. If the pastor wants to talk about what the Bible says about homosexuality or how President Obama’s endorsement of gay marriage goes against the beliefs of the pastor’s church, then by all means do so. However, his position of authority requires that he do his job responsibly.
We will all be better served by stepping into the world with a Grounded Powerful Strength that is compassionate, respectful and safe. Sending belittling and deadly messages is neither compassionate nor respectful—regardless of how strongly held your views are. Individuals, couples, Republicans, Democrats, Christians, non-Christians, men and women all share the common bond of humanity. Our world will be better off when we remember this and actually treat one another humanely. Allow God — not you, me, the President, a pastor or any one else — to be the judge.
Our world needs more compassion, not more contempt and disgust. State your views while remembering the humanity of the person you are speaking about. Step in with a Grounded Powerful Strength (GPS) rather than an aggressive, contemptuous one. Our world needs less violence — not more.
Challenge: Refuse to spew contempt toward another person or group. State your opinions in a way that honors – rather than degrades — the humanity of other people. Speak about others as you would have them speak about you—even when they disagree with your life choices. Allow your GPS to be your guide and, likely, more people will listen to what you have to say.