John Gottman has done extensive research on couples and found that couples who stay together have more positive interactions overall than couples who divorce. When they speak to each other, they do so respectfully and without contempt. They listen as though they care and they treat each other in kinder more thoughtful ways; they do […]

My long time mentor, Terry Real, was speaking about world violence one day and stated that over 90% of the violence in the world, he believes, is the result of someone “offending from the victim position”. Offending from the victim position is when a person acts on the notion that retaliation is justified. For example, […]

I have watched the dynamic of men bullying and women silencing play out again and again, over the years. The men have learned to master the “effective” use of anger, intimidation and fear and the women have learned that it is not worth taking on the man’s wrath…that is, until they can no longer take […]