Being a safe listener is necessary for true intimacy to occur. One way to think of intimacy is “Into–me-you-see”; it is the sharing of two individuals about themselves. If one or both partners use what is shared, against the other person, it’s not safe to share. If it’s not safe to share, intimacy is blocked. […]
Speaking Safely: Communication and Couples
Speaking and listening safely is paramount in relationships. Let’s take speaking first. Are you a “safe” speaker? Seems like an odd question, I’m sure; however, I believe many couples do not communicate in a safe fashion. The Encarta Dictionary defines “safe” as: 1. Unlikely to cause or result in harm, injury, or damage 2. In […]
SAFETY IN COUPLE’S WORK: When your therapist, relationship coach, pastor, etc. is not doing his/her job
I have heard, from a few different sources over the years, about therapists (et al) who have been minimally helpful, not helpful, and at times downright hurtful. There are many types of models and helpers today, and not all methods fit everyone. That said, there is one issue I feel strongly about and I believe […]
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