Addiction is toxic to families. Regardless of which family member is the addict, all family members suffer. Once a family member is under the grip of addiction, the entire family’s life gets turned upside down. Regardless of what the addiction is (i.e. alcohol, drugs, sex, gambling, etc.) it’s an incredibly painful situation to watch and to live in.
The change in moods, erratic behavior, and lies are particularly hard on families. People can’t believe their loved ones would lie straight to their face. They can’t believe that s/he won’t just wake up one day and realize they are going down the wrong path and just change back. They want to believe more than anything that their loved one will get it and go back to who and how they used to be…and so they wait…and they trust…and they wait…and they trust…and they…get burned.
If I could give families one piece of advice on addiction it would this: DO NOT WAIT. Get them into treatment as early as possible and with the best, most reputable addictions specialist as possible. Do not play with fire; addiction will intensify in the blink of an eye. If you’re premature, there’s no harm done; if you’re slow to act, you’re looking at a possible lifetime of fighting an uphill battle.
If you have a twelve year old whose smoking pot–get him/her into treatment (even if it’s the first time s/he has smoked). Don’t believe your child when s/he says it’s not their pot; that’s the oldest line in the book and you need to play hardball with drugs. If you believe your spouse has a drug or alcohol problem–put your foot down and do an intervention to get him/her into treatment…then get yourself to Alanon (a support group for family members of addicts). If you’re unsure how to get your partner into treatment then get into therapy yourself with an addictions specialist…and get into Alanon. If you’re not sure if your partner has an addiction, go seek help to find out.
Too many families have lost marriages, houses, and the lives of their loved ones; don’t let your family become one of the statistics. Addicts lie. Addicts steal. Addicts are gripped by a force greater than themselves. Trust your instincts, not the addict’s words. Do what you must to protect you and your family from the toxicity of addiction.
If you are worried about a family member DO NOT WAIT to seek treatment. The cost of seeking treatment early is nil; the cost of waiting can be life threatening.
CHALLENGE: If someone in your family is struggling with addiction, get yourself into Alanon. Call this number for meetings in your area (888) 425-2666. If you are struggling with an addiction personally, call The National Alcohol and Substance Abuse Information Center hotline: (800) 784-6776. They will provide you with whatever information you need to help with treatment.