Okay, I know that it is not uncommon for men to stare or make comments about women’s looks/body parts. I must say, however, that part of me that thought this was more often done by a certain type of man—crude and the stereo-typical “man’s-man”. I know, call me naïve, but…that’s what I thought (or hoped).
So imagine my surprise when a “good guy” begins to tell me how he and his friends bring binoculars to the Red Sox games to stare at women’s breasts. He went on to say that when they have their digital cameras they zoom in on a particularly good-looking woman, take pictures of her body parts and then show each other. They all make their off-color comments then they’re off taking shots of the next unsuspecting woman. He was quick to add that they, of course, erase these pictures from the camera right after and would never think of keeping them (probably because they don’t want their wives to know?).
As an afterthought, he stated how it’s too bad that so many of the females with nice bodies are thirteen or so. He admitted that it doesn’t feel good to find out the girl was too young…but, he went on, ”We all know that as women get older everything begins to droop”.
As me and my drooping body are standing there, I’m certain my jaw has dropped so low it’s dragging on the floor. In my head I’m thinking, “Lisa, say something. Speak up for all women. Tell him the impact of this…blah, blah, blah” but I couldn’t. I was in such a state of disbelief. One, that he does this–that “all” men do this–and two, that he doesn’t even realize that it’s probably not the best idea to tell me he does it. Oh yeah, forget the fact that he doesn’t even realize this behavior isn’t okay…yeah, that got me too.
Okay, so here it is: just in case you think it’s okay to stare at and worse yet, take pictures of another person’s body parts without his/her permission…WAKE UP! That is offensive, creepy and an absolute boundary violation (to say the very least).
How would you like it if someone 200 yards away started zooming in on your private parts, talking about what they’d like to do with them? Or for men, how would you feel if women started taking pictures of men’s crouches…and laughed at their size?
Men are taking pictures with cell phones under women’s dresses, eyeing them at baseball games, and whistling at them on the street. Men, it’s time to wake up. Women are not pieces of meat to be ogled, pawed at, and violated. Grow up. It’s offensive and not okay, regardless of whether or not you get caught.
How would you like your daughters, wives, or sisters to be filmed from afar, stared at and leered at for their breasts, and seen as a piece of meat?
If you don’t want your daughters or wives to be on the receiving end of this, then don’t be on the perpetrating end. If you think a woman is attractive, great. Appreciate her beauty–don’t leer, ogle, whistle or go into dog mode… it/s simply unappealing, rude, and a huge turn off. Learn to respect women as people rather than body parts…your daughters, sisters and mothers will thank you for it.
Note: I realize this is not “all men” however, it seems to be more than many of us realize. If you are not one, than I thank you and encourage you to say things to any friends who may do the very behaviors that I’ve spoken about here.
Challenge: Men take a look at the messages you send about women. Are they respectful, angry, demeaning or cherishing? Pay attention to the examples you are setting for other men and boys about women; your sisters, mothers and wives will feel the brunt of these.