Cheryl Richardson talks about the importance of extreme self-care in her book, Take Time For Your Life. Extreme self-care is about putting yourself first, getting off the treadmill of life, and putting the oxygen mask on you before placing it on your partner or children.
This concept is frequently foreign to many people. Women often put their relationships with others before their relationship with themselves. Men often put their work and finances before themselves or their relationships. The result is a lot of people running on an unfulfilling treadmill of obligation, stress and fear.
It’s very difficult to have a healthy relationship with others if we don’t have a healthy relationship with ourselves. This is true on so many levels. If I stay in a relationship that is hurtful to me, that is poor self-care. If I do everything in my family, am resentful about it yet set no limits around it– that is not good self-care…or family care. If I’m trying to do everything for everyone, chances are I will eventually grow tired, snap at the kids, be cold to my husband and be unfulfilled. This again is poor self-care that results in poor relationship care.
The bottom line is: If I don’t take care of me, or treat myself well, then I cannot expect others to…and neither can you. Good relationships start with you and branch out from there. If your relationships are toxic then perhaps it’s time to look at your self-care muscles and begin to strengthen them.
Challenge: Take time to look at how you’re doing with self-care. Are you taking care of all your needs including: health, emotional, spiritual, relationships, fun/leisure. Choose one area to start with and make a commitment to extreme self-care.