Have you ever met anyone who is always willing to help? No matter what you ask them, they say yes…even if it means totally rearranging their life to help you. Perhaps you are this person.
Whether it’s you or someone you know, always saying yes is a bad habit to get into.
If you find yourself constantly putting the needs of others before your own, it’s time to make a change. You have to take care of yourself before you can take care of others. When you do it reversed (put the needs of others before yourself) you have little left for you. When you have little left for you, the following often occurs:
• You feel stressed all the time.
• You begin to be short with your family and loved ones because quite frankly, you’re tired; you’re on EMPTY!
• You feel overwhelmed and like there’s not enough time in the day.
• You’re constantly wondering how you’re going to get all the things you need to get done–done.
• You’re spouse, children, neighbors, friends, colleagues, acquaintances, third cousins and everyone else you can imagine, are calling you for a favor; after all, they can often count on you for a yes!
• You may begin to turn to unhealthy vices to de-stress (alcohol, porn, drugs, excessive eating, etc.).
I could go on and on with this list since the ripple effects of always saying yes are many. When you’re taking care of everyone else except yourself, you get lost. Your life becomes about helping others and before you know it you’re the one needing fixing.
If you struggle with putting others before yourself, begin to take steps to change this.
• Schedule some “you time”.
• Practice saying no at least every third time, or once a day (to your children, your spouse, or others).
• Make some rules for when it’s not okay for you to sacrifice what you’re doing to do something for someone else. For example, if you have a project that needs to get done and someone asks you to help them with something, tell them you can’t right now because you have to complete this project.
If you know someone who often says yes, encourage them to say no and when they do cheer them for it. You may be surprised to find that you have a more loving partner in the long run.
CHALLENGE: Choose one of the above actions and begin to put it into place in your life. Journal any insights as a result.