I often hear people proudly say that they’ve never hit their child or loved ones in an effort to defend how they speak to them (I.e.: “I may call my son a wimp, but at least I don’t hit him”). I’ve never heard so clearly however, the absurdity of justifying ones words by the lack of physical beatings as I heard today when Sarah shared a little saying of her grandmother’s. The loving saying (I say this in jest mind you) went like this: “I never laid a hand on my children, but I could peel the skin off their back with my tongue”.
Yikes…I could not have expressed the toxicity of cutting words more perfectly myself, no matter how hard I tried. You have to love these little quips for providing us with wonderful life lessons on what NOT to do.
The reality is that words can be just as painful, scarring, and brutal as fists and belts. Being proud of never striking your partner or child is wonderful… if you’re also being loving and respectful. If you believe however, that as long as you don’t hit your loved ones you’re okay–think again. Abuse is the maltreatment of a person and it is harmful regardless of whether the weapon of choice is your hand or mouth.
CHALLENGE: For those of you who can “…peel the skin off the back of your loved ones with your tongue”, read about the impact of that below…and learn to keep your tongue in your mouth and your mouth closed if you can’t control your toxicity.
Dave Barnes
Sticks And Stones lyrics
You would have kept those words on your tongue,
If you had known the hurt they had done.
While your fists stay by, right by your side,
Your words they bruise me deep inside.
I’d rather have sticks and stones and broken bones
than the words you say to me,
Cause i know bruises heal and cuts will seal
but your words beat the life from me.
Sometimes your words are thick as lead,
You swing them strong upside my head.
But what hasn’t killed has made me strong,
So i’ll take my scars and move along.
I’d rather have sticks and stones and broken bones
than the words you say to me,
Cause i know bruises heal and cuts will seal
but your words beat the life from me.
Goodbye is the best way that I know,
To forgive and still be letting go.
I’d rather have sticks and stones and broken bones
than the words you say to me,
Cause i know bruises heal and cuts will seal
but your words beat the life from me.