Last Friday I was exhausted, a little bit cranky and definitely ready to sit at home and just veg out. Upon entering my house, though, my two dogs (a chocolate lab and a boxer—both large, one slobbery) ran up to me with their tales wagging, ready to greet me. They were so excited to see me that it was nearly impossible to ignore them. I couldn’t help but notice how nice it was to come home to such open-hearted love.
This encounter, repeated nearly every time I come home, led me to think about how relational dogs are and how much we humans could learn from them. The difference between entering a house and being cheerfully met at the door vs. being barely acknowledged by busy family members is all too familiar to many pet owners. In fact, some pet owners have said they would be more upset if their pet died than if their spouse left them http://tinyurl.com/2fsmwnx. As sad as this statement may sound, it’s a testament to how loving pets can be…and…how non-relational some humans can be.
Below are five characteristics of pet dogs that humans can learn from:
1. Dogs are great greeters. They greet us with love, energy and genuine excitement—any time of the day or night. My dogs can’t wait to see me when I come home and they are utterly excited to greet me when I wake up in the morning. Dogs show people, through their actions, how genuinely happy they are to be in their lives.
2. Dogs are great companions. They enjoy hanging out and just being in the company of those they love. There are no awkward silences or mean things said in anger—only a constant friend who always loves you as long as you treat them well. They’re happy to snuggle up against you without any ulterior motives. They just want to be close. At the same time, they are able to give you space when you need it. They don’t smother, nor do they ignore.
3. Dogs trust their instincts. They don’t wonder if they are being fair or seeing things correctly—they just trust that they know what they know. If their instincts tell them someone isn’t safe, they back off or move into protecting themselves and others.
4. Dogs are great protectors. If anyone messes with someone a dog loves, they will fiercely protect them and keep them safe. In fact, dogs are known to be better at safe-guarding your home than a security system. Burglars don’t want to tangle with a dog if they can at all avoid it.
5. Dogs are there for you in times of need. They don’t dismiss your feelings, tell you to toughen up or tell you to stop crying. They simply give you their fur to cry on and kiss your tears away. They just try to reaffirm the notion that everything will be alright and let you know you will always have them.
Unlike what many people think, dogs do not love unconditionally. They will be your best friend if you treat them well and will return your love tenfold. Just like healthy humans, however, they will distance and not trust you if you don’t treat them well.
If you are tired of struggling relationally, perhaps you have a thing or two to learn from dogs regarding relationships. The biggest lesson is being willing to show your love day-to-day, moment-to-moment. Dogs don’t care about how they look when they’re running up to you, wagging their tail; they only care that you feel the love and love them back. Too often humans are so caught up in how we look, who was right in the last argument, whether there are ulterior motives, etc. that we forget to just love.
When it comes to relationships, learn from our pets: be forgiving, show affection and trust your instincts.
CHALLENGE: Look over the list above and rate yourself on each characteristic in your own relationship. Work to strengthen the ones that need strengthening. Notice what happens.